Our first relationships give us the first taste of our own identities as a
partner. We learn the importance of giving, receiving and compromising in
forming a close physical and emotional bond with another person.
First relationships also bring about your first lessons in healing from a
heartbreak. You feel for the first time, a literal aching in your heart. When
trouble hits, you try your best to fix it, but things just don’t work out. And
before you know it, you’re bawling your eyes out in a mangled emotional heap
watching reruns of Oprah with your friends Ben & Jerry (they’re everybody’s
friends when it comes to hard times) on endless afternoons.
You mope, you grieve and then one day, you slide your curtains open to get
a full blast of the morning sun, take a deep, full breath and say to yourself,
“I’m moving on.”
Perhaps the reason why first relationships are so memorable is that they
almost always are sensory experiences, forming our identity in the coming future
with regard to our attitude towards relationships in general and our behaviour
in them.
In an age and community where relationships are generally regarded with
cynicism and pain, where nobody wants An Affair to Remember and Pride and
Prejudice would ultimately lead to a relationship’s downfall rather than being
lovely romantic movie titles to sigh over, maybe it’s best to look back at
previous relationships, learn our lessons and release the resentment to look
ahead at a bright future.
